I have numerous ideas for posts floating around in my head but not nearly enough time, focus or emotional energy to begin a single one. My life just got very messy and painful and complicated and scary. And I’m working through it as best I can, feeling disjointed and frazzled and scared and free and joyful and hated and loved all at once. Thank goodness for my amazing therapist, acupuncturist and supportive friends. I’ll make it through this, as I always do, because I must. I’m trying to be as gentle with myself as possible right now, though that’s taking some serious work as I am the Queen of Self-Punishment. I want to be open to all the new possibilities and life lessons that are arising from this major change, even when that means having some awkward and/or painful conversations and getting called out on my shit by loved ones who care enough to not leave no matter how hard I push.
I’m learning to let go and leave my comfort zone, to embrace the unknown and make peace with uncertainty. To say this is difficult would be an understatement, though I realize I’m far from unique. I don’t know too many people who are particularly fond of change, especially life-altering, heartbreaking change that jolts us out of our safe comfort zones. But knowing that this is a universal human truth doesn’t make the getting through it any easier. Just a little less lonely, I suppose.